Confronting Depression With the Beauty of Nature

I woke up early Saturday morning, as I often do, at 3:00 a.m., and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I lay in bed, suffocated by the cruel darkness. It’s very different from the darkness of the night that gives us rest.

This darkness feels . . . malicious.

It torments and drains me. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Depression is the hardest in these moments; I think this is when it’s at its strongest for me.

I hate it. I dread it. Every night, before I close my eyes, I think about that malicious darkness waiting for me, and I don’t want to fall asleep.

But I know, too, that as soon as the sun rises, the darkness vanishes, and the feelings of depression and despair flee not just “like” evil fleeing the Light of God, but literally.

Which makes perfect sense, because Darkness cannot withstand the Light. (John 1:5)

Of course, I’ve researched this phenomenon many times over the years, and I learned that Biblically and historically, the hours before dawn (3:00—6:00 a.m.) are seen as a time of heightened spiritual activity.

Jesus Himself prayed during the “fourth watch” (Matthew 14:25). And many Christians describe experiences of oppression, dread, or anguish during these hours.

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