The Grateful Journal Series
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teenager. When I was a teenager, I wanted to be an adult. Then, when I became an adult, I wanted to be a better version of the one I was, and the only way I knew how to do that was to have more, be more, reach for my dreams, and conquer the world independently. No pressure there, right? But I quickly learned—even after accomplishing my dream—that the life I thought I wanted for myself was contaminated with stress, societal expectations, competition, constantly having to prove myself, protect myself, be better, have more, and do it all while either broke or flushing money down the toilet.
This was not the life I envisioned.
We are bored and think that to be fulfilled, we must “live life to the fullest.” But a life we think we want seldom reflects what we need—a calm, quiet life taking care of our families and living as Christ would have us live.
Deep down, I had always known the kind of life I wanted, as far back as when I was a little girl (as if it was the life I was meant to have). I longed for it every time I visited my grandparents. I wanted to be like my grandmother and have a loving marriage like her and my grandfather. I wanted to be a homemaker, wife, mother, live on a homestead, and grow my own food. I wanted to learn to cook elaborate holiday meals and share with extended family several times a year. I wanted to contribute to my family’s home by doing all the work that goes into homemaking, being a stay-at-home mom, and earning an income from within our home by doing something I truly enjoyed—writing. But without the guidance I needed or two parents who loved each other the way my grandparents did, I was left to fend for myself and make all the wrong choices as society pulled me in every direction but the right one.
Now, in my late forties, I’ve had a chance to step away from society and look at where everything went wrong, at all the holes in my boat that were never plugged. I’ve been given the opportunity to see my past mistakes with clarity and even see the many times throughout my life that I still chased after the homemaker dream without realizing it.
There is something special about simplicity and stillness, whether in the life of a homemaker or a busy-all-the-time working mom. The quiet and calm, the comfort and peacefulness of our home tucked away from the bright lights and loud noises of the outside world.
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
Ecclesiastes 9:10
Have you ever gone on a vacation, an extended business trip, or even a short trip that felt long, and the best part was coming home to your quiet house and comfy bed? How often while at work have you wished you didn’t have to be there? How many times have you dreamed of working from home and never having to crawl out of bed early to work your fingers to the bone doing something you despised? How often have you dreamed of being your own boss and not having to spend all your time and efforts on making money for someone else?
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