The Answer to Many of Life’s Problems
My life, although I was loved and cared for, was steeped in volatility from an early age. My mom was a good mom, and my dad loved me dearly, but they weren’t good for each other, and it didn’t seem like they truly loved each other, either. Like so many families without Jesus Christ, ours was broken long before my parents divorced and my dad moved away to Pennsylvania. Alcoholism ran in my family on my dad’s side, passed down to him from his father, and it tore our family apart. I witnessed more than my fair share of alcohol and spousal abuse when I was a little girl—even though I barely remember it. After my parents separated, I followed in my mom’s footsteps by getting into unhealthy, turbulent relationships as a teenager and left to fend for myself the same as she did.
Having to protect myself against toxic, ungodly men and from the evils of society became my everyday; it was all that I knew or understood, and anything less was weakness. First, I grew into needing to be loved by a man to feel useful and worthy, to later adapting to a feminist lifestyle out of retaliation for years of abuse and humiliation. I learned to despise most men and was unable to trust them.
Admittedly, I still have trust issues today, regardless of being married to a wonderful man who loves and takes care of me. But trusting in God and having faith in Him—not my husband—has made a world of difference. And I know that had my parents loved Christ and had faith in Him, their marriage might have been saved.
But that’s not what happened, and because I grew up in an ungodly environment, an un-Christian personality grew around me like a tree around an abandoned bicycle. One of the un-Christian traits that I adopted was an angry, defensive heart; another was a sharp, harsh tongue. Put the two together, and you have a woman like many modern women today—fiercely independent feminists who take no guff from anyone, who are combative, offensively loud, and use vulgar language—all traits that humans, especially women, were not created to bear.
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