God Wanted Me to Fail, and Fail I Did
Lately, as I’ve taken a step back and looked around at my circumstances here in Mexico, I’ve begun to understand why I believe God brought me here. There are many reasons, and I will talk about one of them today.
Go backward with me briefly before November 2012, before I wrote a bestselling book that changed my life forever.
I grew up poor, or at least we were considered poor according to the State of Arkansas and society’s expectations. Sure, we didn’t have much money and couldn’t afford name-brand clothes, cable TV, or a telephone, but we had everything we needed and more. As I got older, left home, and started my own family, I carried the “poor gene” with me and passed it along to my children. Despite not having a lot of material things and sometimes not having the money to pay the bills, we were happy. I raised my three children alone; it was just the four of us for most of their lives. I chose not to have another man in my life; I distanced myself from all people who were once considered friends but were bad influences on me and my children. I chose to associate only with family, and I no longer did any of the unhealthy things I did in my teenage and young adult years. My children were the most important things in my life, and I didn’t need anyone else.
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5
As my children grew up, I spent a lot of time with them. We often went to Pinnacle Mountain, Burns Park, and many other places around Arkansas, sometimes just the four of us, sometimes with family. We were happy. We had little, but God never let us go without the necessities and even a few luxuries here and there. My children had toys, clothes, and even video games. We might’ve lived in government housing and were on food stamps and Medicaid, but I believe we were rich in love for each other and togetherness.
I was happy. I had everything I needed and more. God blessed me with three beautiful, loving, and healthy children—what more could I ever ask for?
But I did ask. And God obliged. He gave me more, so much more. And everything I knew would change.
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