(This is not an image from the restaurant I’m discussing below)

I’ve always known in the back of my mind that eating from a buffet line is never really a good idea. Of course, I’ve ignored that voice in my head all my life because let’s face it, buffet lines have tons of food choices and many of them are really good. Golden Corral has always been my favorite buffet-style restaurant, but after yesterday I have to say I’ll never do the ‘buffet thing’ again, ever. Before I explain, I would like to say that what happened was not necessarily the fault of the restaurant, though I think it could have been prevented if extra measures were taken for such a rush of people like there was.

I paid for my son and I, 2 people over $21 bucks, which I instantly regretted after we rounded the corner and I saw the amount of people in this place! The first things that went through my head were phrases like ‘bodies close-proximity’, ‘unsupervised children’, ‘teeming with germs’ and ‘oh my god, I don’t want to eat here.’  I took a deep breath and pulled Jonah to the side and told him to ‘scoop from the back’, meaning not to take any food off the top and closest to the front. He understood. We went to our seats, ate and the food was good. The waiter was nice and made sure our drinks were replaced when they got too close to empty.

Then it was time for dessert…

I got a clean plate (note: there was a boy leaning his stomach fully over the plates, I noticed) and went to get a piece of chocolate pie. (Note: it was almost impossible to walk through this restaurant without bumping into someone, or having to stop and wait for a large line of people to pass before you could get to the food two feet away). Lastly, I made my way to the fresh fruit section to get a few strawberries and pieces of cantaloupe.

And then I saw it…there was a piece of cantaloupe on the top that had clearly been bitten off of and thrown back into the bowl! You could see the teeth marks and the perfect shape of the mouth. I just about lost it right there. Calmly, I gestured an employee over, pointing at it and told him what it was. He said nothing, but just removed the entire bowl from the salad bar. Needless to say, I didn’t eat my dessert.

I think that restaurants should implement the same kind of rules that some other public establishments have in place. Ever seen a sign that says: “Children must be accompanied by an adult,” or, “Adult Supervision Required”? I strongly believe that ESPECIALLY in places like buffet lines where there is food that hundreds of  people will be consuming, children should not be allowed to run around like they are at Chuck E. Cheese’s and dip freely from the food! Any parent likely already knows how most young children have little to no sense of sanitary consciousnesses, how they are prone to stick their fingers in things, sneeze and cough and even BITE OFF FOOD AND PUT IT BACK IN THE PUBLIC BAR! Kids pick their noses, scabs, dig in their butt cracks, touch EVERYTHING. It’s just what kids do and even all the ‘uppity’ parents out there that think their children are too well-mannered and have been ‘taught well’ should never believe their children aren’t capable of disgusting, unsanitary behaviors. THEY DO IT TOO!

Aside from the obvious sanitary dangers of buffet lines where kids are concerned, there are MANY things about buffet food that is DANGEROUS, which most of those are pretty obvious too:

• Think about how many hands have already touched the handle of the utensils you’re about to touch to put food onto your plate.
• Then think about how many of those hands likely were never sanitized beforehand and then what they may have touched prior. Damn scary!
• Think about the false sense of security those small, clear panels of glass that hover over the food, which are supposed to protect the food from stuff like sneezing & coughing. A sneeze can travel up to 12 feet, and reach speeds up to 100 miles per hour. Do you think that inadequate piece of glass is going to protect all the food underneath it?
• Think about what there’s nothing in place (like inadequate glass) to protect the food from: flakes of dry skin, fingernails, scabs and other disgusting things that fall off human hands and possibly into your food!
• Think about how disgusting many humans are in general. I’ve seen a grown man sitting in his car at a red light eat the booger he just dug deeply for! I’ve seen a girl throw a USED tampon out a car window! I’ve seen adults of all kinds sneeze, cough and belch in public without even ATTEMPTING to cover their nose or mouths! I’ve seen A LOT of people come out of restroom stalls and walk right past the sink without washing their hands.

So, that’s why I will never eat at a buffet again. It wasn’t just the cantaloupe that did it for me – the cantaloupe just opened my eyes to everything else that I really already knew all along, but never wanted to think about it.

“The strange thing is that, as an author, there are places publishers never send you, and the American South (if you don’t count Atlanta) is one of those places. When I’d ask, I’d be told it was because people didn’t really buy books there, or there wasn’t a demand, or something.”

Of course, I’m not offended by Neil at all (don’t shoot the messenger?) but I’m a bit disgusted by ‘publishers’.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but that actually hurts my feelings! :-S

Well, speaking for the ‘American South’, who are quite intelligent despite the stereotype, WE LOVE BOOKS!

Basically, every time it rains this stupid place floods. Seriously. And not just when it rains a lot. When it rains period. But it started raining early yesterday and did not stop until about 2 hours ago.

How about a visual?

Everywhere you see water there’s supposed to be a road or a sidewalk, and keep in mind this was taken earlier in the day long before it stopped raining.

Just like that one.

Some people drive through it, but I refuse to. #1, it’s unsafe to drive through water like that! #2, the car I had before the one I have now DIED not long after I drove it through this flooded complex in the past. Really though, does it take a genius to realize that driving through a lot of high water can screw up your vehicle? Especially if you’re in one lower to the ground than a truck might be. I’m still paying my damn car off. I’d like it to LAST a few years after I finally do!

On a different note get this, while we had floods in the center of the state, at the same time there was winter weather advisories in the northern parts of the state and TORNADO WARNINGS in the south! That’s Arkansas weather for you. In The Natural State you get a bit of everything.

So, that’s really all I have to say, other than Merry Christmas to everyone. :-)

I left. Without my ticket.

When I got home I called Greyhound (their main headquarters, or whatever) to complain and to find out why there were no employees to print my ticket. I was upset, knowing I had purchased a non-refundable ticket and that I was going to have to go back to that awful station and wait an hour or more in it before I could board my bus and get the hell out of there. I expressed my concerns about being mugged and made it quite clear that if anything happened to me that I’d sue the shit out of them.

After I hung up I immediately called the station I had just left and after several minutes of busy signals and no answers, a girl finally answered. Her excuse for not being there was that she left to get breakfast at Mc Donald’s. Really? Must be nice to just leave like that whenever you want to during business hours and there be absolutely no one to pick up your slack.

Anyway, we had words and she was rude and I was rude back.

The night of my leave:

I was to board my bus at 1:10 a.m so I had to be there an hour early. My brother took me and we waited outside in the parking lot forever, and during our wait we were approached by a pimp/crack head/drug dealer! He kept coming up to the car window and I was so scared I just wanted to get out of there. Where were the security guards? Where were the cops? This place was crawling with EVIL! We watched a drug deal happen right there in front of the bus station, which once again was devoid of employees save two strange guys that seemed to like talking to the pimp. :-| Anyway, it was after 2:00a.m before my bus finally got there and when I got on I was forced to sit for two hours to Memphis with two drunks directly behind me, constantly saying extremely loud ‘motherfucker this’ and ‘motherfucker that’. They smelled so bad that I could have vomited if I let myself breathe like a normal person.

Then there was my bus driver, who like just about every Greyhound bus driver I’ve ever had the displeasure of being driven by, couldn’t seem to drive without swerving. Needless to say I did not sleep a wink from Little Rock all the way to Chicago. I guess if I was going to die in a fiery bus crash I wanted to watch it happen? I don’t know, but I couldn’t sleep and that was the longest 13 hour ride, ever.

{INSERT HAPPY CHICAGO TIMES HERE}

I dreaded getting back on a Greyhound to go back to Little Rock and I almost spent my car payment money to buy an Amtrak ticket instead. In fact, for a long time I was dead set on going home by train as I refused to step foot on another bus. When it came down to it, I knew I didn’t have the money and that I needed to stick it out (if I lived on the way back) and get it over with. Brian and I went to the Downtown Chicago station an hour before I was to board and once again, before I even got on things were awful. I stood in line forever to check my bags as the customer service woman talked on and on with two girls about everything but tickets and such. She didn’t care that people were waiting in line. Finally when it came my turn, she was just rude in general; the way she hardly looked at me when I spoke to her, how she wrinkled her nose when I asked her what gate I needed to board at. She didn’t even verbally answer my question, but rather stuck my ticket in front of me after writing my gate number on it. I wanted to smack that woman.

It got worse.

As Brian and I were sitting down and waiting on my bus to arrive, the same customer service woman was being so rude and nasty to an Asian lady because the Asian lady could not understand English. It was really sad because that poor woman was so distraught and upset that the Greyhound lady was being so horrible to her. At that point I was fuming! I was so close to walking up to that woman and telling her fat ass off.

Unsurprisingly, my bus was over an hour late. When I made it to Memphis again, I had to switch buses and ended up with a grouchy bitch for a driver that was as rude as the customer service woman in Chicago.

I’ve explained enough and won’t go into detail about what she did and said to me and other passengers, but I think I’ve summed it all up.

So that’s my story. I will never ride a Greyhound bus again for anything. I hate to say it, but Greyhound is truly the international travel for crack heads, loudmouths and other people like them. The stations are nasty. The buses are nasty. The bus drivers (most of those I’ve encountered anyway) are horrible with people, rude, falling-asleep-at-the-wheel, threatening and thoughtless. Their schedules are whacked out with layovers as long as 6 hours or more, overcrowded buses, rude passengers that want to take up both seats and will make it known they don’t want you sitting next to them.

It’s a horrible way to travel.

Enough said.

I have never gotten up at the crack of dawn to stand in line at a lame department store for anything and I never will. It’s ridiculous! Have you seen these crazy people trampling other human beings as they squeeze their way through packed doors and several hundred people for a few bucks off some stupid product? What, was it last year or the year before when a Walmart employee was KILLED by a stampede of frickin’ shoppers?

Heeeellll no!

Let me just let you in on a few secrets, which shouldn’t be secrets at all, really. #1…

(Hold on, I’m still watching this crazy shit. Geez! This store looks like the mosh pit at a Pantera concert! For a PS3! I love gaming, but this is stupid.)

Anyway, #1…you don’t really want to buy electronics from a department store (any electronic device I’ve ever purchased from a certain ‘ruler of the retail world’ has had something wrong with it), especially things like computers. A $200 laptop is guaranteed to be a piece of shit. Trust me. #2…

(Oh, now it’s the insane wedding dress shoppers. This is something I’ve never understood. I mean sure, a $6,000 wedding dress for $200 is a steal, but these women are nuts! They picked the racks clean in under a minute! Lame. You’re going to wear that dress once. Once! Is it really worth all that? No.)

#2…The amount of stress you put your body through during the shopping madness shortens your life by 2 years! Not to mention, why would anyone want to risk life and limb for a deal? Chances are you’ll end up spending the money you saved (and more) on the hospital bill later. #3…The price you pay for the stuff (sale or not) is triple compared to what the store actually pays for it. Can you imagine how crappy and cheap that $200 laptop really is? Do the math. You don’t see Alienware computers marked down to $200 and there’s a reason for that.

So that’s my rant for today. I will wait until the stores are clear of psychotic people and when I can take the time to shop for things the people in my life might really like and find good deals. And I can do this all without being trampled, or threatened to have my throat cut if I don’t give up the last Bratz doll. But before I go let me say to all of you people out there that do intend to shop in the morning: you can still be human if you stop when someone gets knocked over and help them up, rather than pretending you don’t see them and running over their head as you go about your merry, crazed way.

~steps off her soap box~

OK, maybe not so much a cat suit, but you get the idea.

Yes, I’m still going to submit to agents. I guess it’s a necessary evil, so I’m sucking it up and am going right back into the belly of the beast. For now…. (I talk a lot of shit when I’m thoroughly upset – don’t mind me.)

They say most writers publish their first book in their 30’s. Let’s see if ‘they’ really know what they’re talking about.

Hmmm, let’s see. I’m just babbling this morning. I could tell my Greyhound horror story since it’s technically not in the same happy Chicago post, but I think I need more than 30 minutes to word it right and all, to give you the full horrific effect. So, I’ll save that blog for next time.

I can’t wait to go to Whole Foods this weekend to get some sushi and one of my new favorite drinks that I can’t remember the name of (Brian?). And I need to go to the AT&T store to get a new battery for my Blackberry. Why am I telling you this? Because, like I said before I’m killing an hour before I have to go to work.

~sigh~ One more day of work this week and I’m out for Thanksgiving, too. I need to get some writing in! I need to get my queries ready again and start submitting, while at the same time writing in my YA werewolf novel and on the side reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Yep. Much to do.

Now the energy to do it….

The first strike: their cafe’ was closed.

The second strike, there was a wedding scheduled for that day…

…so some of the place was blocked off to ‘outsiders’.

Anyway.

It started out alright. The beginning of this hour long trail was nicely landscaped and showed promise, but as we walked along further, that promise and the flowers began to quickly thin out. So, their brochure and the web site make this ‘garden’ out to be a beautiful place with thousands of flowers everywhere and waterfalls and unicorns and such. We were really excited to go.

But we realized fairly early in the walk that there were more flowers in my brother’s front yard than there were here. We were extremely disappointed, especially since we drove so far to see it and paid to get in only to see what we could have seen anywhere within ten miles of where we lived.

To make matters worse, more than half of the area was under construction. Now I understand that sometimes places must get a makeover. Nothing wrong with that. But what I did have a problem with was not knowing this in advance. I never saw anything about construction on their web site. If it’s there, it wasn’t put where people can see it clearly. Something like that should be on the front page and in bold letters, if not on a banner.

So we have a closed cafe’, a wedding, barely any flowers, construction zones all over the place and then, get this, our coupons that were printed from their site said between certain dates (which we were within) that the gardens closed at 8:00 p.m. Nope. They told us they closed at 6:00 p.m. even though the coupons said otherwise.

How about a happy picture before I go on?

Or, maybe a cool one?

Anyway, to top it all off, where was the friggin’ chapel?! They advertise on the site and the brochure a beautiful outdoor wedding chapel called Anthony Chapel, but we did not see it anywhere! Nor did we see the Garvan Pavilion, which would have been a beautiful sight to see. It became apparent to us that maybe they were on the far side of the gardens, but the weird thing was that we saw no signs to point us in the right direction, or really any evidence of either structure being there at all. I mean sure, they have to be there somewhere, obviously, but you would think they would be two key points of interest for most visitors, so the obvious thing to do would be to put up visible signs no matter how far away they were.

I’m sure Garvan Woodland Gardens is a beautiful place to visit when it’s not under construction and there are actual flowers bloomed to see, but I would like to have been given the opportunity to plan my visit for a later date when it was actually ready for visitors, and they should have made sure people knew that important information in advance.

On another note, I’m having my gallbladder removed early in the morning and I’m terrified. :-(

On another note, the Dirty Eden blurb is up on ‘The Work’ page. I’ll be adding a pdf. file of the first chapter for everyone to read once it goes through its editing phase.

I’ll keep you updated.