I just need to stress that a real Christian would not say the things that Pat Robertson said.

That’s all.

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I haven’t been much in a blogging mood lately, though I think a lot of that has to do with getting through the holidays and stuff. I mean seriously, I’m just now taking down my Christmas tree today. :-S

Brian came to visit me for 5 great days and we spent New Year’s together. On New Year’s Eve we went to  a nice place downtown called Bosco’s. I know, I look like a wannabe Vegas showgirl or something with the feathers on my head.

The whole time he was here it was cold as hell…wait, okay so that didn’t make much sense, but you get the idea. Really though, it was frigid! Though thankfully not until after our walk/climb up Pinnacle Mountain…

…which was awesome! (Looks like a giant squeezing the little girl’s head, hehe)

And our visit to The Old Mill, which Brian also really loved.

And so did I. :-)

We also went to the Old State House Museum, which was free admission and really should have charged something. Seriously, the place was enormous and had a maze of rooms with great exhibits that was set up nicer than some high dollar museums I’ve seen.

Here’s Brian standing next to…well, his body-double? :-| I still wonder if this is coincidentally cool, or if someone needs to catch up with this century maybe? :-P

We took tons more photos, but I’ve never been interested in seeing other people’s museum photos for some reason, so I won’t bore you with ours. I guess it’s one of those things that you’d rather just see in person. Same with zoo photos – they are boring to look at usually, unless you’re the one taking them. Interested in the museum, follow the link above. :-)

And what would any trip to visit me be without going to FLEA MARKETS! At least he actually wanted to go to a few, otherwise I would’ve felt wrong dragging him along, hehe.

And as I have demonstrated in the past, you can find some weird stuff in flea markets, like this ginormous bag clearly made for ginormous giants. Here you can see shopping carts made for hobbit people and here, perverted mannequins.

We also saw Sherlock Holmes, which I thought was good, but not as humorous as I expected it to be. Though, you can’t go wrong with Robert Downey Jr., so it was worth it!

Looks like my next trip to Chicago will hopefully be in April and then again in July (he wants to DRAG me to the Bristol Ren Faire! I’m terrified!) and he definitely wants to come back to Arkansas so we can go hiking up Mount Magazine or some other cool place like Devil’s Den.

Can’t wait!

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I’m sitting at home alone on Christmas Eve because my apartment complex has flooded and I can’t get my car out to go anywhere.  I have a major issue with the complex I live in (and have lived in for about 10 years) and that is that there’s only 1, get that, ONE, entrance/exit in and out of this place (the only other one they had blocked off by dumpsters several years ago) and I think it’s shitty of them to continue allowing the residents to live this way. Buuuuuuut, it’s government housing (yeah, I’m not afraid to admit it) and so it’s OK to treat people like poor dirt.

Basically, every time it rains this stupid place floods. Seriously. And not just when it rains a lot. When it rains period. But it started raining early yesterday and did not stop until about 2 hours ago.

How about a visual?

Everywhere you see water there’s supposed to be a road or a sidewalk, and keep in mind this was taken earlier in the day long before it stopped raining.

Just like that one.

Some people drive through it, but  I refuse to. #1, it’s unsafe to drive through water like that! #2, the car I had before the one I have now DIED not long after I drove it through this flooded complex in the past.  Really though, does it take a genius to realize that driving through a lot of high water can screw up your vehicle? Especially if you’re in one lower to the ground than a truck might be. I’m still paying my damn car off. I’d like it to LAST a few years after I finally do!

On a different note get this, while we had floods in the center of the state, at the same time there was winter weather advisories in the northern parts of the state and TORNADO WARNINGS in the south! That’s Arkansas weather for you. In The Natural State you get a bit of everything.

So, that’s really all I have to say, other than Merry Christmas to everyone. :-)

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I’ve been running across quite a few other blog sites lately, which are actually right up my alley. The only problem is that they HURT MY EYES. Seriously. It’s unfortunate because several of them I’d love to read and keep up with on a regular basis, but I can’t because they have black backgrounds with bright white text and that does a number on some people’s vision. And by doing a search, I see I’m not the only one! You can read stuff here and here , to list a couple. I notice there have been a lot of debates too, about this issue and some people don’t have a problem with it. The fact remains, however, that if you *want* to attract a lot of readers for whatever reason, then considering web-friendly choices for *all* readers would be a good idea.

Here is a good site that helps choose font/background colors that are web-friendly. But just on the issue of black background with bright white text, my opinion would be just change the text to a gray color. It’ll still look all awesome and stuff! :-D

And while I’m on the subject, here are a few more not-so-viewer-friendly site Dont’s:

• That Pretty Flash Intro – I know many people will disagree (and that’s OK – just my opinion, folks!) but I can’t stand flash intros!

  I bet most people ’skip intro’ when there’s an option to do so (or close the page out when there’s not). I do every single time. Most people don’t care about the flashy stuff anymore (it was cool about 8 years ago). They want to get right to the content (so they can *skim* the text, LOL, we’re all lazy, it’s OK!) and don’t want to wait for this stupid thing to load to 100% even if it only takes a few seconds for some. Point is, if you’re paying for this damn flash intro thing, you’re WASTING YOUR MONEY. If you’re making it yourself, you’re WASTING YOUR TIME.

• Too Many Widgets & Stuff - Remember this is just my opinion. This is not an attack on ANYONE. I have seen a lot of blog sites, once again, that I think have great content, but I find myself having to sift through TONS of links and widgets just to see something I want to see. A cluttered site for me is like a bedroom you can’t walk through. I start to feel a bit claustrophobic. I’ve seen sites that list the last six thousand blog post titles in the side bar (exaggerated, of course, but you get the idea).  If someone is that interested in your content, they will go out of their way to read all the blogs you posted in the last three years by searching your archives.

So that’s pretty much all. I know my site isn’t perfect, so no need to point that out to me, but I try to make it readable. I try!

UPDATE! 12/20/09 – I just ran across a literary blog that talks about reading on BLACK BACKGROUNDS, too. They also list a few other helpful things:
5 Things That Make Me Stop Reading Websites & Blogs.

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I’m turning this page into a place where I will feature a writer, blogger of literary things, or anyone else interesting of a literary nature.  For now I will do two features a month (will do more or less after I see how it goes) and if selected, stuff about you will be displayed on the page for two weeks. I might do a short interview with you, copy/paste general information about you and/or what you do, from your site, etc. I’ll post a new blog for every featured person and link to it from the many social networking sites I am a member of (MySpace, Twitter, Writer’s Digest Community, etc.).

The Rulage & Stuff:

*All features must have a web site (yes, free sites and blogs are OK).

*Anyone featured must be following me on Twitter.

*Must be writing-related!

*You CAN  nominate yourself!

*Those who nominate others will be mentioned with a link as well  if your nomination is featured.

Follow me on Twitter at @JRedmerski . You can nominate someone here as a comment, or on Twitter – however you want! The first feature will be between January 1st – 10th, and in addition to an entire page of my site devoted to featuring you (or whoever YOU nominate!) the featured will win a $20 Barnes & Noble gift card!

*Judges will be announced soon.

Help spread the word by retweeting this blog! Thanks!

UPDATE 12/20/09 – DECIDED NOT TO DO THIS AFTER ALL. NOT ENOUGH ENTRIES TO DEAL WITH IT, BUT I DO THANK THOSE WHO NOMINATED THEMSELVES.

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Character creation and dialogue are my absolute favorite things about writing.  I was a freeform role player for a number of years and that was how I fell in love with creating characters. I’ve had a lot of practice, and I’ve found that pulling decently crafted characters out of my head is not too difficult (I seem to have a soft spot for evil children characters though-not sure why).

Dialogue.  It’s the easiest and most enjoyable thing for me to write, I guess maybe that comes from being so outspoken in person, and I have a love for studying people I don’t know, how they naturally speak, tone, their facial expressions, body language,  etc. That crazy crack head in the Laundromat intrigues me and instead of shooing him away, I like to listen to him talk to himself.

Yes, I’m sort of a dialogue junkie…and maybe a little bit of a freak?

Anyway, if character creation and/or dialogue are your weaker points, maybe I can help. Of course, I’m certainly no expert, but I’d like to pass on some things I’ve learned and methods that I use.

Characters – What Not to Do:

• Crazy names suck. Almost nothing ruins a book more for me than running across a character with a cutesy made-up name like ‘Jasmaleen’ or ‘Aighymee’ or one of those dreaded fantasy world names like ‘Nemaireri-Cyn’. Even in fantasy books, I prefer simpler names. To me, an over-the-top character name instantly distracts from the story, which is the most important part of your book, right? Don’t pull a ‘Renesmee’….for the love of God.
• Personality stereotypes – avoid them.  If while writing about your character you suddenly feel like something about her is too familiar, sometimes that’s a red flag, so don’t ignore it. You probably already know all about how it’s a bad idea to make your blond character dumb, your main character pathetic because she’s parentless, or your Southern character a country bumpkin. But what about the more subtle things? Watch out for making the blond preppy, the main character sexy, but with that one flaw you have to give him because no one’s perfect (like the dreaded scar on his cheek), or the Southern character that instinctively knows how to ride a horse or bait a hook.
• Action clichés – avoid them, too.  If while writing a scene and something about it screams OVERUSED! OVERDONE! It probably is. For instance, your character quickly picks up a book to pretend he’s reading when he hears footsteps approach. Or, to make it worse, the owner of the footsteps comes in and notices that the pretend reader has the book upside-down. These kinds of clichés pull me out of the story and make the character less real. I remember I’m only reading a story and I don’t like to be reminded of that.

Characters – What to Do:

• Randomness Works – Every character needs something about him that is random. Usually these traits are subtle, but they give your character, character. The young boy that always draws on his shoes, or the teenage girl that can’t control the shaking of her foot while sitting in class. Check yourself out and make note of some random things you do and use one! I can’t sleep with my feet covered and I’m addicted to popcorn. Random little quirks help make us individuals and often they give a character more character better than those prominent traits we give them, like how Ethan loves knives and carries one with him everywhere, or Phoebe is a Goth that always wears black.
• Character Traits – Sometimes it’s difficult to pinpoint how you want a certain character to be, or to act. You haven’t thought about that much, but you don’t want to be stuck trying to figure it out when you’d rather just be writing. Here’s an idea that I used for a couple of my past characters: look at this page, choose just one character trait, and go with it. Having an actual list of traits to sift through helped me find and choose one quicker and easier, but also I realized there are many traits that I may have forgotten about, or may have never thought of. A single word can open the floodgates for you.

So, in general, you don’t want a cliché or emotionless and boring character (unless you create one that is supposed to be emotionless and boring, but when it’s intended, it usually works) so take a look at your characters and see if there’s anything about them listed above that could be changed to make them better. In my opinion, characters are what make any story. Description and setting are also important, obviously, but a lifeless character can easily spoil a good scene.

Dialogue is also what makes a character interesting and in my next blog for Part II, I’ll cover it. I hope this helps. Thanks for reading!

Check out my most recent writing-related blogs:
Phase Writers, Born Writers & Evil Agents
Over 100k Words? Cutting is Gratifying

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The road to publication for the majority of writers is a long, painful and ‘subjective’ one (that word you’ll hear so often you’ll want to choke the person sitting next to you). You’re going to finish your novel and be so proud of it you might think you’ll be one of the lucky few to be published soon after. Sorry, but that only happens to people that sincerely go into it with absolutely no expectations, few intentions and maybe even low self-esteem about their writing skill (in other words, it is pure luck). Rarely will someone who thinks they just wrote ‘the next big thing’ break into the business quickly, if even at all. It’s a sad fact: chances are likely about 90% of us will never make a living by writing and even less of us will hit the big-time.

Why is that? And why am I being so damn negative by pouring vinegar on some of your wounds? Well, the reality of the business is harsh, yes, but the other reality is that it really doesn’t have to be that way and you really don’t have to be part of the statistic. It’s still unlikely any of us will be the next J.K. but I think the best ways to be sure you become a published author and at least be able to see your book on a shelf at Barnes & Noble someday are:

• Actually write a book. Do I really need to say that just talking or dreaming about it will never get it written? I didn’t think so.
• Read. Read. Read. A writer that doesn’t read is like {INSERT ANY WITTY SIMILE HERE – ALL WILL WORK}.
• Learn how to write properly. Just because you can tell a good story doesn’t mean you can write one.
• Get some non-biased feedback on your story (mom’s and husbands almost always either sugarcoat the truth, or are blinded by how beautiful you are).  Join an online writers group that offers free critiques and accept their advice no matter how critical.
• Edit. Revise. Edit. I think 1 year of editing repeatedly is minimum.
• Edit and revise some more.
• Get your query and synopsis ready and by that I mean, be prepared to rather be doing something like getting a vasectomy from that guy that lives behind the 7 Eleven, or eating light bulbs. If the query/synopsis isn’t perfect (and this is the only case where ‘perfect’ does exist), you’re screwed.
• Subjective. Subjective. Subjective. (I’m just helping get you warmed up.)
• Not a good fit for us. Not a good fit for us. (Still helping get you warmed up.)
• Get in the habit of knowing that the unopened agent response staring at you from your inbox is a rejection.  And when you do finally get your first send-me-more reply, expect that one to end up in the rejection folder, too.
• Ignore the urge to #1…whine to an agent about how many rejections you’ve received, and #2…tell an agent off even if you’re the best writer to come around since Stephen King or Neil Gaiman. They’ve heard it all before and anything more or less than a thank-you-for-your-time reply to a rejection makes you look bad. Even I am guilty of whining in my blog to an extent (and I have tough skin!), so I know how rejections can affect a person.  Don’t let it get to you!
• Always write something else while submitting the one you finished. Start a new novel and keep the momentum. A finished book is not a vacation unless you’re Stephen King or Neil Gaiman, I suppose. A writer always writes and a successful writer usually has more than one published book under his belt.
• Never give up. This is most important, because it’s the one that separates born writers from phase writers. The majority of that negative list I began this post with (that 90% way up there) are of phase writers. They’re the ones that never get published because they let the road to getting published beat them down and they give up. Of course, that 90% also consists of the severely unlucky, the delusional and the successful dead (those that are discovered only after they’ve kicked the bucket).

I haven’t been published yet myself so I can’t give pointers beyond what I gave, but I can say that once you do finally get published, like with completing your book, it’s still not vacation time! It’ll be time to promote, promote, promote!

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Is your manuscript more than 100K words? If it is, you might be in some way like I was when one of mine was 116K (ouch! I know!). I thought I had edited it down as much as I could. I combed through the story night after night, editing here and there and saying to myself, “I can’t take that out! It’s important! There’s absolutely nothing else I can, or will part with.” And that was that. I refused to budge.

And then a miraculous thing happened. A bolt of lightning came out of the sky and snapped me right in the ass and suddenly I realized there was quite a lot of content I could take out of my story that was, after all, expendable. (That sentence there was way too long, for example!)

Unnecessary Words – Eliminate Them!

The first thing I did was hunt a list of unnecessary words and I found this link, which is a blog posted by @writing_tips. I’m sure many of you already know this (I did too), but go through each word (also ‘very’ and ‘even’, which aren’t listed) and get rid of them wherever possible. Having the list in front of me allowed me to use the Word Find to go through my manuscript and eliminate each one. Even if you’re a seasoned writer, you might realize you’ve used some of those words, regardless. It happens as we do get carried away sometimes. You might not cut many words by doing this, but every one helps and in this case, it helps with more than just your word count.

Kill Her, Even if You Love Her!

The next thing I did was examine my characters more closely. Chances are there is at least one character you can do away with and no one will ever miss it (if more than one, then great!). I used to think this was blasphemy. I loved each of my characters. How could I bring myself to part with one for the sake of cutting words in my manuscript? Easily. I realized that one of my favorite characters (not one I cared the least for and would have tried to cut first) was entirely expendable. Sure, the scene with her was great and she was an awesome character with a lot of character, but when I looked past her and how much I loved her presence, it was only then I knew that she didn’t have an important enough part to keep her. By cutting her out I eliminated close to 3,000 words and it only hurt for a few seconds. Besides, I knew I could use her in another story.

Need and Want – We Must Differentiate!

After that, I decided to start from the beginning again and examine each paragraph differently than all the other times I edited before. Instead of looking for flaws, or sentences that could be reconstructed, etc. I decided only to look for anything (word, sentence, paragraph) that truly had no purpose other than to make me proud I had written something so ‘awesome’. Of course, I emphasize that word with a lot of sarcasm. What I’m getting at is something we all do. We construct neat little sentences we’re so impressed with and we forget that sometimes we don’t need them; we simply ‘want’ them. This alone allowed me to cut more than…wait for it…I cut close to than 6,000 words!

My 116K-word novel was reduced to around 107K and you know what? I felt great! As I re-read my novel for the hundredth time, it flowed better than ever before, and overall I felt good about what I did. Ultimately, I was kicking myself for not doing it sooner! I still need to get the word count down some, but for now I’m good with what I have cut and I have a completely new respect for eliminating content.

So that’s my little bit of advice from my own word-cutting experience.

Most of the time if you’re still over 100K and you think you’ve cut all you can; you’re still in your sentimental zone.

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This is a blog I’ve been wanting to write since last year, but I’ve held my tongue for various reasons, which really are not worth it. I don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think of my opinion, because after all, it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it.

It’s about The Twilight Saga. It’s about Stephenie Meyer. It’s about the books vs. the movies.

I’m very much on both sides of the spectrum and though many would think that’s the safest place to be, I happen to think it’s the worst place to be as you can get stones thrown at you from both directions! Haha! Precisely why I’ve kept my opinions to myself for so long – but no more. :-)

So here goes.

The Twilight books are somewhat cheesy. There’s a lot of over the top stuff that any good writer wouldn’t dare tread upon in their own work and it can fairly be labeled ‘teenybopperish’.

But I love it. Yes, I said I love it. I admit that it took me seeing Twilight in the theatre after the second time to actually like it, but after that I bought the first book and sort of fell in love with the story. I was even embarassed to be seen buying Twilight in the bookstore! Anyway, there are so many people (even famous writers, which I’ll not name) that have talked down about Stephenie Meyer and about her writing skills being less than great. Well, again I am on both sides. I do see why someone might not like her writing style, etc., but I think many people have judged her on others opinions alone and not given her a chance. I happen to think she tells a great story and that her writing skill isn’t anywhere near as bad as some make it out to be.

Then there are the movies…I saw New Moon tonight with my daughter and that’s what prompted me to finally write this blog.

The movies, quite frankly, are awful. Bad acting. Overly dramatic soap opera moments all throughout. Bad acting. Slow and drawn-out scenes. Slow and drawn-out moments that don’t add anything rewarding to the slow and drawn-out scenes. The cheesiest and most cliche’ lines ever. And bad acting.

The movies do not do the books justice at all and I think that’s sad.

I think the main reason I like The Twilight Saga so much is that it is to my daughter what The Vampire Chronicles, The Lost Boys and Bram Stoker’s Dracula was to me when I was younger.  Sure, it’s teenybopperish, but the whole vampire fantasy hits home for me and I like that. But there’s something more important about all this: it is because of Twilight that my oldest son got into reading. I paid him $50 to read the saga not because it was Twilight, but because I wanted to get him reading something. At first he hated the idea, but money speaks loud volumes to a 14-year old. He started Twilight and after the first book he liked it so much he was actually eager to delve into the other three. And believe me when I say my oldest son is as far from being teenybopperish and ‘girly’ as a guy can be. He was able to look past all the rumors about Twilight being for girls and saw the books for what they truly are. But now my son reads and enjoys reading and that is something I guess I have to thank Stephenie Meyer for.

My suggestion to anyone that hasn’t read the books, or seen the movies: read the books first! You’re not missing much at all where the movies are concerned, but if you do decide to see the movies at least you will know that  Stephenie Meyer’s writing shouldn’t be judged on the movies. I agree, she’s no J.K. Rowling, but then no one (especially Mrs. Meyer) ever said she was trying to be.

The way I see it, if anyone can get hundreds or thousands of people into reading, they should be smiled upon for that task alone no matter how much you think  their writing style sucks. Besides, if you really think about it, Mrs. Meyer must be doing something right.

So that’s all I have to say.

Update 11/28/2009 – Now I can say all I said above and still think THIS is the funniest and truest thing I’ve ever read. Of course,  only about the movie. :-P

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I’m watching The Smoking Gun – The World’s Dumbest (one of my favorite shows ever) and they’re doing the world’s dumbest shoppers. Of course, they’re showing all the real footage of crazy Black Friday shoppers, which really proves just how idiotic the whole thing is. Amidst my laughing my ass off at these stupid people dehumanizing themselves for cheap (and I mean cheap in the way of crappy) laptops (with 2 GB’s  and Winders Yuppy 6) and $6 toasters, I am also disgusted as much as I am humored.

I have never gotten up at the crack of dawn to stand  in line at a lame department store for anything and I never will. It’s ridiculous! Have you seen these crazy people trampling other human beings as they squeeze their way through packed doors and several hundred people for a few bucks off some stupid product? What, was it last year or the year before when a Walmart employee was KILLED by a stampede of frickin’ shoppers?

Heeeellll no!

Let me just let you in on a few secrets, which shouldn’t be secrets at all, really. #1…

(Hold on, I’m still watching this crazy shit. Geez! This store looks like the mosh pit at a Pantera concert! For a PS3! I love gaming, but this is stupid.)

Anyway, #1…you don’t really want to buy electronics from a department store (any electronic device I’ve ever purchased from Walmart has had something wrong with it), especially things like computers. A $200 laptop is guaranteed to be a piece of shit. Trust me. #2…

(Oh, now it’s the insane wedding dress shoppers. This is something I’ve never understood. I mean sure, a $6,000 wedding dress for $200 is a steal, but these women are nuts! They picked the racks clean in under a minute! Lame. You’re going to wear that dress once. Once! Is it really worth all that? No.)

#2…The amount of stress you put your body through during the shopping madness shortens your life by 2 years! Not to mention, why would anyone want to risk life and limb for a deal? Chances are you’ll end up spending the money you saved (and more) on the hospital bill. #3…The price you pay for the stuff (sale or not) is triple compared to what the store actually pays for it. Can you imagine how crappy and cheap that $200 laptop really is? Do the math. You don’t see Alienware computers marked down to $200 and there’s a reason for that.

So that’s my rant for today. I will wait until the stores are clear of psychotic people and when I can take the time to shop for things the people in my life might really like and find good deals. And I can do this all without being trampled, or threatened to have my throat cut if I don’t give up the last Bratz doll. But before I go let me say to all  of you people out there that do intend to shop in the morning: you can still be human if you stop when someone gets knocked over and help them up, rather than pretending you don’t see them and running over their head as you go about your merry, crazed way.

~steps off her soap box~

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